I’ve learned over the years that no matter how hard you try, you can’t predict the future. There’ll be times when you win and there’ll be times when you lose. Sometimes it’ll feel like you are winning and losing at the same time and have no idea of how to cope with the alternating emotions.

That was my 2019, although my marriage came to an end, so many things were beginning for me and I hope to share those new beginnings with you in this blog. 

Living Arrangements

So most of you know that I’m originally from NC and although I tried my hardest to find a job back east, it just did not happen for me. In late November, I finally got a job offer from a dream company with a dream salary in San Francisco. After commuting 6 hours roundtrip, I knew that I had to find housing closer to the city.

When I was looking for places, I knew that the true Bay Area living was not for me. There is only so much city I can take and the Bay Area is weird, dirty, and expensive so I didn’t have much room to be picky. 

I ended up choosing a place in Oakland due to its proximity to public transportation, safety, and quality of the building. Okay just kidding! I also got 8 weeks free, $1k back and reduced parking costs – so that is a steal, especially due to the area I’m in and it being a luxury apartment.

Why didn’t I get a roommate or settle for a long a$$ commute? Well honestly, because I could afford not to and in this season of my life, I didn’t want to have an uncomfortable living situation. MY LIFE WAS ALREADY IN SHAMBLES. 

We’ll go into budgeting in my next post, I promise 🙂

New Job & Income

I applied for jobs for the majority of last year. I had intended to go into coding full time but due to the changes, I knew that focusing my search on my past experience with technical training would help me secure a job faster. My search became super frustrating because somehow I thought that I’d get a job the very first month -_-. If you’re going through anything, here’s some advice, be patient with yourself.

I wanted a position where I could actually do meaningful work while also being challenged. I’ve had many bad job experiences, so I was picky with who I applied to and interviewed with. I also wanted to be paid my worth, so I wouldn’t have to just scrape by. After 7 months, I received multiple offers and luckily the company I work for now was one of them.

Listen, I’ve been married the majority of my adult life so being able to support myself in the bay area gave me so much anxiety. On that note, I’m not really comfortable sharing my income at this time. Why? Because the internet is scary, folks are mean and I don’t want the extra stress. Me being “transparent” about my specific income helps no one, but if it is relevant to what I’m saying, I’ll consider sharing it in percentages.

Just know that I doubled my income and I thankfully won’t have to live paycheck to paycheck in one of the most expensive areas in the country ALONE. I’m looking forward to sharing more with you as the year goes on!

Outlook On Life

Many people have asked how I’m doing. Honestly, some days are great and some days suck. I’m sure everyone feels that way though. To have to change your plans, goals, and life all at once would be traumatizing for anyone. You know, I may not have planned to ever be starting over at age 29 but the fact that I didn’t have to go into debt to do so is a blessing. So many people are stuck in situations simply due to not having the finances to make a change.

The best way to heal is to look forward and that is what I have been doing and will continue to do. My plan is to invest aggressively, travel frequently and give myself the love and time to figure things out. I don’t know what God has planned for me but I’m going to try my best not to be bitter, broken or reckless. I will not use this chapter as an excuse to ruin my life – especially not financially. 

Thanks for being here, talk soon.
— Dannie