I had always heard that wives are typically responsible for doing the majority of the spending in a marriage. Let me tell you, after 5.5 years of marriage, I now know that this saying is absolutely true!

From the moment I said, “I do”, I really had no idea what she was about to do — to my finances.

Let me explain how I figured out what was about to happen:

When Dannie and I were just dating, we never talked much about money and what our views were on the subject. I did notice that there were times where she wouldn’t let me buy her certain things or she would suggest activities for us to do that didn’t involve money (i.e. Libray dates).

In my mind, that simply meant:

“Oh, she just doesn’t want that particular thing…” and “She doesn’t like to do that…”

Fast Forward A Few Years

It wasn’t until we started talking seriously about getting married that I finally started to understand how she might impact my wallet in the future. I remember sitting up late one night talking to her on Skype as she was trying to explain the type of engagement ring she might like if/when I ever decided to ‘pop the question’.

She told me that she was going to just send me a few website links to rings that she liked.

Now, like most men in this situation, I presented a calm exterior while she continued to talk.

I was like, “Okay babe, that sounds good. Send them over.”

But on the inside…

I. Was. Panicking.

See, I always knew that this day would eventually come, but I didn’t actually know if I was going to be able to afford anything that she liked. I was pretty much convinced of the fact that engagement rings were going to be EXPENSIVE, regardless of the choice!

And then…

Dannie: “Okay, here’s a few for you to check out..”

Listen, ‘a few’ was apparently code for 10 – 15. Well, I don’t really remember the actual number. I just know that, to me, it felt more like:

This only added fuel to the frantic fire that was spreading in my mind at this point. I just knew Dannie was not going to want to be with a man that couldn’t afford a proper engagement ring.

With my eyes closed, I opened the first link:

$500.

Wait a minute…

Next link:

$350.

This, literally, was not adding up. I looked at EVERY link she sent me and there was not a single ring priced at over $1,000. The majority of them barely topped $500!

At this point, I knew, Dannie was going to change my finances — for the better.

My wife spends money, differently

I am the first to admit that I was never any good at saving money, but these days, we’re able to save almost 60% of our income each month. This is largely due to the mindset that Dannie has helped me adopt over the years:

Spend. Less.

The concept seems so simple, but more than 40% of Americans continue to spend more money than they make. According to society, debt is just a normal part of life, and it quickly became a normal part of our lives soon after we got married.

We paid for our wedding, in cash, so that we wouldn’t start our marriage with debt. This was awesome! But the thing about debt is that it tends to sneak up on you, little by little. You never realize that things have gotten out of hand until they have already gotten out of hand.

That’s precisely what happened to us…

Dannie had a really hard time finding full-time employment during the first part of our marriage. We ended up putting a lot of things on our credit cards to help us get by while we were living on one source of income.

When we finally realized just how much debt had piled up, it was Dannie that made us sit down and figure out how to make a budget so that we could change our future. We made a plan that would help us become debt free on one income and continued to follow it even after becoming a dual income household.

How is that even possible?

Dannie has brought a lot of character to our marriage, to say the least. I attribute our ability to live by our budget so easily to 3 traits that Dannie has:

1.) She’s a human calculator

Her favorite thing to say is “Babe, I calculated how much this actually costs…” She will literally see a “sale” in a store and then pull out her phone to calculate the per-unit price. I have watched her do this so many times that it doesn’t even surprise me anymore. What’s surprising is when she actually figures out that it’s actually cheaper to buy the individual items during some of these so-called sales.

** Do the math with your own finances. You would be surprised at how much money businesses make because people don’t do their own calculations.

2.) She does more research than a FBI agent with a PhD

Similar to point #1, she is thorough. When my wife spends money it is very intentional. Before we even make it out of the door to visit a store, she has often spent plenty of time researching beforehand. She’ll know how much something is and where we can buy it for the lowest price before we even leave the house.

I learned this the hard way when we first got married. I made the mistake of going out to buy a TV that I did not research first. It was one of those impulse purchases that went straight onto the credit card. I thought I was helping the household because we didn’t have a TV at the time. Dannie helped me realize my mistake.

That was the last time that I made an expensive purchase without doing my research and consulting the house CFO first!

** Always do your research. Deals ARE out there, you just have to find them. And if you are married, make sure that you are keeping the lines of communication open!

3.) She’s a budget bully!

This is probably my favorite thing about Dannie. She is not willing to take sh*t from anyone.

Not even me.

Financial problems are one of the top causes of divorce in America. Either, both partners can’t get on the same page or one of them is afraid to voice their opinion. Typically, the husbands make most of the decisions about money but it should be a team effort.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that Dannie would not be shy about voicing her opinion in our marriage. I love that because it truly keeps me on my toes and I never have to wonder what her views are. I know that if I screw something up, she’ll call me out on it.

For example, the type of email you get when you forget to explain something you added to the budget:

Even when we only had one source of income, we still worked as a team to manage the money. I have actually heard women in similar situations say, “Well, he is making the money so it’s HIS money to spend. I can’t tell him what to do with it.”

We’ve been able to make the kind of progress that we have because we have always seen things as ‘ours’ and not ‘his & hers’. I have appreciated it and my wallet has definitely appreciated it as well!

That’s all folks!

I could go on and on talking about this wonderful woman, but I will stop here. I just really wanted to share how my wife affects my money and how happy I am that she does!

I’d be broke WITHOUT her!

$tay Wealthy Friends!

— DJ